ACK!! IT GOT MEEEEE!

Flu season is among us and well surprise surprise it got me. For the 3RD time this year!! then on top of being sick for two months straight...I ah... well am at a loss I have never been sick this many times in 1 year ever! and the year is not over yet!
So now here is my pickle I didnt run yesterday for obvious reasons, i didnt run this morning cuz probably should give a day of recovery even though I am chomping at the bit to run. So tomorrow it is! I am trying to get my milage up over 200 before the end of the year. I know I have well over that now but I just started documenting my miles in late August. Then i had PI (poison ivy), then I was sick grr.. Wish I would of started writing down at the beginning of the year I usually run every day to every other day and usually no less than 3 unless i was strapped for time then it was 2 miles not enough to break a sweat over. my longest run this summer was 9 miles! but now my sister and I are going to train for a 1/2 marathon in late april!! wish us luck and health. goddess knows i need it in the health department!

Cancer sucks!

My anxiety level is through the roof! Yesterday we had to say good bye to our friends mom who lost her battle with breast cancer, now I never met her but I do know how much our friend loved his mom. My husband has been friends with him for years and that is how he became my friend too. He is a very fun person who does stupid things and doesnt make the best choices but eh who hasnt and some people dont like him for his faults. I for one had issues with him in the beginning because of the choices he made but I have now known him for 9 years and I have made some pretty shitty choices and am not one to judge and I am glad I gave him a chance. Back in September we all went out he came over and we knew his mom's cancer was back she was in remission but of course the bastard had to come back and was everywhere including her brain...we asked him how she was doing and he said she's dying.. there were uncomfortable giggles not by me but the men in the house at the time.. no one knows quite how to act or relate to something so bluntly spoken I on the other hand dealing with my moms cancer and probably being a female I got it I understood...he needed this night to let loose get hammerdrunk as he likes to say and we did. The night was fun as we were reaching our final destination I turned to him as we were all piling out of the vehicle and asked how he was doing he said not good Beth So I went in the back seat with him and gave him a hug to let him know that im here and if he needs anythign let me know he hugged me back so tight and he sobbed and i held him and let him sob it was so hard but he needed it and I am glad I was there for him to release his feelings. It was a bonding moment I will never for get.
He sent me the text last monday that his mom had passed. This poor boy lost his mommy who was his everything and he sent me a text to thank me for evertying.
The funeral was very hard, my chest was tight I was sad for our friend and his family, I sat there fighting back the tears that I am afraid to let fall thinking im selfish because i'm crying over someone I dont know, yet its my friends mom but yet I found myself thinking of my mom dealing with the whole cancer thing sucks big monkey nuts! I am not ready to lose my mommy words spoken to me by him and now me speakin them to the would wide web or whoeverreadsthisfuckedupblog!
I think I have said it before and my sister brought a valid point denial is the best its my favoroite or just being angry works too. How do you numb yourself from the pain of the unknown?