ISSUES

GRRR... Always had them always will....well i hope they go away i know its not right to hate your body but I just dont like mine at all! Everytime i look in the mirror i cry.

Just frustrated

My throat hole hurts so effin bad right now I cant even explain the pain. Except that its constant, it hurts to talk, hurts to swallow hurts to eat...hmmm not all bad. maybe a new diet fad? ugh! no no no.. I only ran one day this week yesterday and only two miles because of the stupid hole in my throat hurting! I was doing so good with my running and now the pain in my throat is getting it the way of everyday enjoyments..UGH!!!!
I went to the doc a few weeks back and was told its a virus rest... uh really? apparently you don't know me to well.. I have 3 monsters at home and a ginormous monster of a husband that all need entertainment....
Starting from the beginning of my sickness, I would have to say it started in August the week before the 13th to be precise, I know this because the 13th was our 5 year wedding anniversary and I was sick with a cold (that started with a soar throat hole) all week...then the night of our anniversary I lost my voice and had laryngitis for a week...then i got it back but still and slimers in my chest and on top of that got poison ivy which lasted two weeks on top of a cold. The whole month of September I was sick either coughing up goober monsters or blowing slime out my nose holes. all starting with the feckin sore throat! this is my 3rd one in 2 months! This one hurts worse than I can remember the others hurting because this one feels like a cat is in the back of my throat trying to claw its way out!
on top of this I took my poor second monster into the doc on Tuesday for an ear recheck and now both tubes are out and he as a double ear infection. She said one more recheck next month and if its not gone we got straight to ENT for round 3 of tubes. UGH!
I need a vacation!

WOW

Speechless, is the only word that comes to mind right now. Never mind that I haven't ran since Friday, never mind that I have been sick for 2 months, never mind that I am not happy with my body or self, never mind that woke up crabby and bitchy and stuff...but WTF? Another death (suicide) of a classmate What is going on, I get it life is hard life sux life isn't fair some people may not like you, you may be financially stressed, going through a divorce, single, homeless, depressed. But to take your life doesn't complete you it leaves those of us that love you with more questions.
I wonder most days why my cousin killed himself, leaving 2 daughters behind. Questions will never be answered. All that is known was that he was depressed.
GRR... Just ruined my day... i get this is not about me but it is my blog and im really bummed.... another childhood friend gone...

update on my running

I have been doing so good running this is my 3rd week although I didn't run last Friday I did make up for it Saturday and ran 6 miles!!
I did not run this morning cuz i have a stupid sinus infection and decided against it, now sitting here i am restless because I didn't run! so that is what I will be doing when I get home!
Very frustrated with my weight too. need to be more careful with stuff. grr..
The nice thing about being sick! I cant taste anything so don't really need to eat much. whoot!
that was lame bye have a nice day