Fun weekend....fun weekend...fun weekend....maybe to much. is that even possible? well considering i was still drunk from Saturday until I went to bed last night at 8.. that might be to much... Woke up feeling ok but .... I am so off today it sux. I didn't sleep for crap. Didn't run this morning and ate way to much (for me) and all i can think of is when i get home I have to run have to have to have to. If i don't I will be off on my miles! well maybe... I just don't want to chance it.
I talked to my mom today which usually brightens my mood but today not so much. They are taking her off of the Oxycodone and putting her on Morphine.
Me: mom is your pain that bad?
Mom: well the Oxycodone made me itch.
Me: man I am sorry
Mom: that's ok honey
Me: so are you going to go in anytime soon for a CT scan to see whats going on with the cancer?
Mom: no this is the end I don't want chemo anymore so that's why they give me the pain meds.
Me: (uh well I don't even know what to say except) ok.
Trying not to cry is the hard part. I am afraid I wont be able to stop. Knowing my mom made the decision back in August to quit all chemo and go on hospice STILL is shocking to me like I cant explain it. It almost seems things are back to normal until you see all her medication and the oxygen tank. then everything smacks you in the face again.
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